Chronicles of a Young College Boy

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Friendships Cherished

hey ppl....this week i got lots of grades coming back at me....well actually 3 but i took abt 5 subs so 3 is quite a few...i got history...math and eslp engl back....eslp is the basic engl..verbs nouns and all...well i got A- for eng...B for both hist and math...hist im quite surprised tht i got a B cos i tot i seriously screwed up the essay part..well its done...

Anyway yesterday i watched armageddon..and for those who watched it b4 know the last part when the father says his last words to his daughter from an asteroid to earth...during the whole time..he has very little chance to express his love to his daughter...in fact they r not on very good terms except for the very last moment...when both father and daughter cried as they said their goodbyes...it draws very strong emotions from me....and this ending...combined wif a diary entry from stuart's blog entry...taught me the importance of expressing our gratitude to our friends....so i would do just that in this blog...cos im not very good at expressing gratitude if i do it face to face..i would slur at my words and everything....so in no particular order.. :

To Shen....the other day i watch survivor and they r doing the 'total truth process' to this guy during tribal counsel and it immediately fires off the times we were at the adam khoo camp...hehe...shen is probably the one guy that has seen me at the most vulnerable time of my life till now...not only he has seen me cry till theres no breath in me left...he has also seen me struggle wif astma attack rite on the spot...(those 2 happened in the same place and time)...i want to thank you for guiding me thru tht horrifying and enlightening 'ordeal'...and for being supportive of one of my dumbest romantic action...remember valentine's 2004..?...well if u don remember mayb the case of buying flower and giving it back might refresh ur mind..im reall grateful for the fact tht ...well yea its dumb but u still help me wif the situation and all...so for the unwavering support...and non-judgementalism and teaching me to be super humble(during the camp when u said 'u die')... I thank you.

To Harry...well harry ...when it concerns the love part of life...we r both almost identical...we both chatted and discussed a lot abt things tht concern tht particular area and abt life matters....we both hav the common goal of wanting to become a better person....so theres definitely instant rapport...he pissed me off real bad once...wahahaha...well its a good kind of pissing ppl off...i learn a lot abt myself at tht time...(and no i didnt get into a fight wif him..if i did he wouldnt b here...wahahaha..joking joking..harry if u reading this allow a bit of teasing eh?..u can tease me in ur blog entry.=) )...and he is like a music library to me...4000 songs plus...so wadever song i want i will just ask him...he saved a lot of money for me..hahahaha....mostly described as a silent companion...he seriously hav a lot of opinions when it comes to life and love ,...yea i noe cos i read his past blog entries....i learn quite a number of things from him...both abt life and myself...and unfortunately both potive and negative too...but life has always 2 sides...for a positive to exist there must always be negative...so harry...for all the conversations we hav..the listening ear...the music...and companionship..I thank you.

To Cheryl...hahahaha...=).. its just fond memories when it comes to her..hahaha...all the jokes...the lame stuffs...the 'trying'to be fierce scenarios....they r just invaluable memories in my life...i had really good luffs when she is arnd...whether physically present or not...she nv fails to put a smile on my face...seriously..never....everytime during chatting always a pleasure to hav her arnd then harry yeos her and i all can tok abt either super silly stuffs...or rather serious stuffs like life and future ...(heh this is one of the only times where i wont luff at her being 'serious')...hahaha...i just dunno how to emphasize it enuff..she is just one of the rare ppl whereby when she comes into the room or conversation or something...every thing just seems more fun and brighter...heh and i tink everyone can agree wif me tht she went thru 'extreme makeover' b4 Os and after Os....for those of u who has her pictures of the times in kcp and after kcp..put them side by side and compare...(she still teases me for not being able to recognise her during grad night some more.-_-ll)..hahaha..so cheryl...for the laughs...the exhange of teasing...the smiles...the conversations..the company...and the lesson of patience... I thank you.

To Yeos....hehe i proclaim him the king of universal lameness and the best 17 year-old guitarist arnd...hail hail....hahahaha...well recently he has revealed a side of him tht i hav nv seen b4... his opinions on love and life matters...well i noe its there..just tht i dunno when he will reveal it..but when he did recently...it kinda caught me off-guard at how insightful he is..at certain areas...he is one great guy to tok to man...seriously...his jokes can make me luff till stomachache...even via chatbox..not many ppl can do this bcos of the lack of tone and facial expessions..he can just do it with words..hahaha..his insights on life and future is interesting...bcos of his crapinness ...he kinda of bcome a very easy guy to get along with...and as he talk abt life ...he is also one of the guys whereby u will not get uncomfortable silences during busrides etc...cos i almost ride the mrt back wif him almost twice a week during sec 3 from city hall back to bishan...most of the time we chat la..but when tired...its ok to just go silent...so yeos...for the lamynisations...guitar performances....the chats... I thank you.

To Wilson...well this guy hav serious intellectual views abt life...sometimes to the point where it can b annoying...but don get me wrong...his views r very interesting...the best time of exhange of opinion views is during the time where i hav a serious dilemma abt God and science...we both exchange similar views..he was also experiencing the dilemma too by the way... some of the names we call each other is priceless...i don want to say it here cos it will mess my entry...but seriously..the names and super teasers him and i exchanged can b like wad i call a conversation between 2 screwed-up Socrates ...wahahaha...its just gets really crazy sometimes...he is like wad i call a friend who provides the intellectual side of everything...when i chat wif him there r times when i will tink..'hmm..nv thought of it tht way b4'...but chatting wif him can seriously get nuts...sometimes he can just say things tht crack me up...hahaha...so wilson..for the countless exhange of opinions...for the name callings...for the wacky companionship... I thank you.

I also want express my gratitude to Alex, Albert, Robin, Tiro, Matthew (Chua), Kok Yee, Samuel, Ian, Nea, Evelyn and the TKD club members for helping me adapt easier into the very new environment.....my gratitude to Zu, Sherman, Qihui, Evelyn (Leow), Matt, Darell, Stephanie, Eugenie, Lu, Max, Patrick, Greg, Amanda, Esther, Joseph, Franson, Weikang, Bball ppl(Terence, Howard, Eric, Justin), Tan Yong, Evan, Adlinda, Hari, Trisha, Suang and Chanel for adding spice to my life and help me learn more abt myself...my gratitude to the AKLTG grp (Adam, Stuart, Gary, Kelvin, Wei Tang) for helping me realise my potential and help me excel as a leader and a person....

Haha..the whole entry i sound like im gonna die....but i don want to be in a situation whereby i hav not enuff time to say my gratitude to my friends..heh u can seriously not expect me to say this in person..i will b too awkward..but i will definitely say it when i've become a husband and a father (wahahaha..kinda far? well its never too young to think abt it) =) its also ideal for me to say my thank yous now..becos as i hav said in the previous post...i noe how it feels like being without friends...but now tht i've dedicated this entry to friendships...it is from the bottom of my heart tht i thank u ppl...=)

DanieL counted snowflakes at 8:27 PM

Saturday, February 18, 2006

heys ppl ...This week is quite alrite for me...starting to hav tests...i got 2 next week...history and engl...engl not so bad..but history man..geez they got soo much things to study man omg...imagine studying abt 16 to 18th century european history....things like copernican theory...isaac newton...galileo...french revolution...geez ..yea it does get kind of interesting at some point of time...but if i hav to do soo much memory work and reading..even interest wont pay me off....

Today i went to visit one of my friends....actually 2..they were already married and just had a baby a few days ago...alex albert and i went to visit them in their house...its like...yea i noe i hav been kinda emphasizing on this for the past previous posts...but when we all just gather arnd to look at the baby...its ...er...i dunno how u describe the feeling..its just great to see a friend who just hav a new member coming into their family...lol the name i cant remember cos its quite hard...but the baby is pretty though...big eyes..wahaha....its a completely different feeling to see ur friend having a baby and see ur parents' friend having a baby..(now i mean no offense here but im just stating how i feel)...it feels tht im more involved...yea mayb thts a good word...and just by looking how happy they r...its just...well sparks this feeling in me ...like how would i feel when my turn comes... yea the paternal instincts...wahaha....but its really nice u noe the feeling..during tht time it makes me wonder how it will feel like seeing a friend having a new member coming into his or her family...its really wonderful to see how ppl move on and grow ...like having seen them and b by their side...well it mayb the reason y parents cry during weddings....cos the feeling of seeing them grow up...and now having seen them come all this way...the feeling mayb overwhelming...don ask me how i noe all these...i myself also don noe..im deducing from wad i see...i got lots of time on my own too when im visiting them ..so i thought a lot abt it...

i just learnt something this week tht makes me wonder...its a scientific fact tht the brain controls emotions like love, hatred, sadness etc...so i wonder...y do we feel it in our heart?....i mean is it some kind of a relay msg from the brain tht tells the heart 'now u must feel sad'....if thts the case...cant it b controlled then?...yea i learnt from akltg tht its all abt the state of mind..but wad i don like abt the theory is tht it makes me feel like a robot...like ' now u must feel love....now u must feel sad...etc'...but it makes me envious sometimes how masterful they r in controlling their emotions...cos like now i havent yet to gain control of how i feel about everything...missing family...friends...being patient...all these kinda takes a toll on me after a while..and luckily i hav tkd sometimes just to take out all these on...no i don kill the ppl there...but i pushed myself during physical training tht its almost over the edge...so yea..its kind of a contradiction of feelings...i want to learn the personal mastery...but on the other hand i don really want to b a robot...

this week i've been looking at photos and everything of the past...and something just crops up in my mind now...' The only thing that doesnt change is the fact that everything will change.'...this quote is given by ken yeo...not sure if he create himself or not..but its very very very true...i mean those times r really like so long time ago...when i come into class in the morning...wait for mr tan to come in give worksheets and tell everyone to stay back for phy remedial..(hahaha)...doing my best to stay awake during mrs tay's classes....looking at wilson slping during geog and bio lessons...talking crap during literature discussions...playing darth vader during class times...playing soccer at the back of the class during free period...those times seem like such a long time ago...and sometimes i really wonder...do i ever feel at tht moment tht these times were nv to come back once they passed?..its the same thing as the quote ' You will never notice wad u have until u lose them.'...this quote has been going on and on in my mind so often everytime i tink back on my family and friends back home...so if u r reading this...appreciate all the ppl arnd u...im not saying u r not now...but trust me when i say i noe how it feels like not being wif them....

"We seem to be always running out there to catch our dreams, when we actually are finding our way home. The ironic paradox of life as I have always identified with and learnt to come to terms with. It's in living that we die. It's in loving that we hate. It's in learning that we have confusion. It's in caring that we are hurt. It's in loyalty where we discover betrayal. It's in the lies where we discover truth. " Stuart Tan

DanieL counted snowflakes at 11:45 PM

Saturday, February 11, 2006

hey heys...now today its kinda official....the first saturday and sunday tht i spend the whole day practically alone...its a bit nice on one hand...but also not nice on the other....nice bcos i hav 'some' time for myself....very very peaceful..walking down the street alone when its snowing...its a bit romantic..well it is if i got a partner or something...but when im walking down alone its really peaceful...especially in my case theres almost no one in the streets at all...yea i noe its tht dead...

this week is something like a re-connection with me and adam khoo's world...i found a website created by stuart tan..some of them r link to the website..if u want to check it out its under the 'places to go'....its really nice..for example theres one thts called denial...stuart says tht we hav to b brutally honest wif ourselves..like for me is tht im not wad i am...how do i say it...i gotta face the fact tht im where i am now bcos of my over-the-head competitive spirit....the worst thing abt it is i live off other ppl's 'failure'....well i don like to use tht word im doing my best to describe how i am...its like...i want to b the best at everything i do...now this may seems good but it will kill me if i don bcome the best...ok for example the O lvl results...i got 15...its kinda reasonable...but not really my goal...5 points off...i noe i havent done my best cos i didnt do everything akltg taught me...its funny cos usually ppl is afraid of letting other ppl down...but for me..yea im afraid of tht too...but the worst feeling is tht when some major test or wadever comes and i noe i didnt do my best...its hard to let tht slip by me man.... but the good thing tht comes out of tht is i can stretch even further...tink and look back more abt wad went wrong...

jealousy jealousy jealousy.....not a pretty thing...but it appears whether u like it or not...well..it teaches ppl to b patient...lots of it...and unselfishness..i don noe where tht came in but its there...lol i don make sense throughout this whole entry huh....well its just wad the quote says 'you never know wad you have until you lose it'...this quote is just so so true....looks like i will b overtaken soon enuff...well i cant say i did expect it..but its another thing when its staring rite into ur face while the other party doesnt noe...this is really the reason y i like smallville so much...cos in some ways its similar....(im speaking in riddles here...so if u don understand its ok...its supposed to b an entry in my written diary but its faster to type)

tkd is soo cool man...hahahaha...since i hav to start as a white belt...i hav to do all the basic things again...its really very humbling to wear white belt again...but it has its advantages...when i mix arnd the newcomers and did wad they did..hehehehe..the effect is so cool...i don want to show off but its like tht...then some of them ask me wad belt was i and when they noe they sort of hav the 'oooo no wonder' look...wahahaha....boost my ego...but its also very humbling on one hand la..so it has its learning points too...i learn a lot of things abt humily here...a lot..for one yea the belt thing...another is the fact tht usually in spore im usually always hanging out wif friends and all in school...but now its a 180 degrees turn...for example...its not nice to eat in the cafeteria alone when others got their own click...so yea thts one major lesson...lol tht one of the reason i choose to eat either very early or very late dinner...cos dinner is the time when everyone got together and eat....(can u just imagine how i look)....my cuz say this is going to b the best time of my life...well mayb im new to this thing...but its definitely not the best thing...not even close...well i will edit this sentence when i feel otherwise...cos mayb im also expecting to straightaway find a grp of friends where i can hang out whereever i go...but nop..not yet...soon i hop...cos studying almost everytime when im free really is starting to b not very interesting....

DanieL counted snowflakes at 9:29 PM

Sunday, February 05, 2006

hello....my body now all over aching man....legs..body...back...arms...geez...this week ah i say the most physically challenging one of the 3 ive been here...ok lets start on wed....wed i got flu....then got firedrill some more....it went like this...i was planning to slp early so tht i could get better the next day..i was brushing my teeth when a guy comes in the toilet and say 'we got to go down theres a firedrill'...i was then making funny noise as my mouth is full of foam....then i go down by ....stairs....and i live on the 11 floor....now thts not so bad..cos its going down...but when its time to go up..haiz....just imagine la ...11 floors plus flu...when i come back to my room straight away collapse...my legs got the feeling like gonna cram very soon...lucky never...if not die sia...

so thts wed....thus not so bad...got cough..flu not so bad liao....then go for tkd at night...finally found something thts more of my style...then friday....i got 2 lessons in the morning...2 lessons in the afternoon...after tht straight away go tkd..but different teacher..this one 4th degree black belt man...cool guy...i kena physical conditioning until damn tired...then straight go bball for another 2 hrs...come back to dorm ah...wa almost cannot walk man.....
today my legs and back aching...then play soccer some more !!..well u can say i ask for it..hahahaha...but its kinda fun....really don hav the competitive atmosphere..all play until very very friendly...tht makes me don look so bad when i do something stupid..which i hav done quite some times...hahahaha..like when the ball fall from above and i want to kick i miss...i look so goofish man....hey but i scored one beautiful goal man...hehehhee..then we went dinner together at 9...all eat until sooo much...all damn hungry..ahahaha...now here sitting on my chair writing blog...=)...well its fun la...i mean ...i just dunno when is the last time im so comfortable wif a grp of friends which i just made 2 weeks ago....it really feels nice wif them...well now i just hav to let time do the getting close part..like really good friends...but don get me wrong...they r...but havent got to tht lvl yet..well come on its only been 2 weeks man...but they r good ppl...=)..

i find it quite fun to do laundry now..hahahaha....like coming back wif clean laundry the smell of the room damn nice...well...i tot laundry will not b one of my favs activity here..but its starting to...well u may say now 'eh u no life ah' to me...well for now yea it is...other than studying....and smallville !!...hahaha...so happy got smallville here...it like shows 3 times a week...all 3 times different season...wad i like abt smallville is tht the different emotions it brings and how it reaches out to me...like saying im not alone u noe...i mean for clark's case he cant win lana's heart bcos of his secrets...well mine is not tht dramatic la..hahaha..just tht for now its tough....and at the end of every show there will always b a touching kind of meeting between lana and clark..well most of the time its both of them....but the conversation sometimes is just so meaningful tht u can wonder its actually the same situation in ur life...well at least it is in mine...its just beautiful...theres just so many situations after smallville i will be in the 'thoughtful' mode...=)...well im going to go to rest now...and theres music on now...(*clap clap for harry)...hahahaha...enjoy the music. =)

DanieL counted snowflakes at 12:02 AM