Chronicles of a Young College Boy

Saturday, March 18, 2006

hey ppl..=)...damn i just spent quite some time doing my history paper...really a bit headache...but im glad i started on it at least...and spring break is over man...=(...this week is quite a break...bought some things tht really make me happy..hahaha...on monday i bought the david edding books...4 books but it totalled to abt 80 bucks(US $)....well its my own money tht i bought it wif..and its really worth it..cos its some kind of collector's edition kind of thing..and bcome very precious to me..hahaha...then i bought 2 shoes...soccer and basketball...soccer i just bought the cheapest there is since i wont be using it as often as the basketball one...i broke the chain of wad i tot i want to collect all the tmac...but i got a d-wade now which is not so bad...heh i will show it to u when we meet...=)...

theres really this thing abt helping ppl u noe...in the movies sometimes it seems so simple to help ppl...usually emotionally...cos physically we can just dive into somebody's rescue rite...but most of the time helping emotionally just seems so hard...at least it is to me...im not sure abt u...sometimes u can say the person don want to be helped..cos sometimes i see someone in constant pain...almost a desperation to escape the situation...and its crazy sometimes feeling tht im witnessing this very thing happening rite in front of me and theres nothing i can do abt it...thts the part tht drives me crazy...sometimes u tink its just soemthing the person has to go through alone in life...but i don believe tht...no problem has to be solved alone...its only in the part where u hav to confront the problem tht u hav to do it alone...the analogy of 'i can show u the door, but u r the one tht hav to walk thru it.'....but sometimes for me i face the hesitation of asking someone how is the problem going and some sort like tht...i don want to be the one to remind them of the problem u noe...like lets say someone just cried...and after the person stopped crying...i don noe whether to say how is he or she feelng or just change the subject and talk abt something else...(if u hav any pointers abt this...leave it in the tagbox)...

Smallville has really been instilling some of its characteristics in me man..hahaha...i just realise it when i chat wif harry some time last week...he was saying something abt u will realise more abt the matter if u ask someone else for opinion...its something like tht cos i cant really reveal wadever was being said..anyway i unconsciously said tht i rather find abt it alone and judge it according to me...and one other thing tht i forgot..=P..hahahaha...anyway im not showing off here...wad im saying tht very small things can change u...well im repeating wad i said abt 2 weeks or a week ago...but its really cannot b emphasized enuff...small things like wad u read...the music u listen to...the programs u watch on tv...the type of outfits or clothes u usually wear...they (99%) reflect who u r as a person..cos they hav the potential to change u...i feel tht the david eddings books really do hav quite an impact on me...cos i was spending a whole lot of time reading it when i was reading it for the very first time...i was consciously analysing the characteristics of how a confident and funny person should act and carry himself just by reading the characters of the story....cos tht time was the early stage of my personal development age...so i was sometimes practising it in reality...trial and error method all the way...

this kinda brings me to my next point..im not sure if i brought this up in any of my entries b4,...but ' The level of challenges that you are facing now is such that you are well-equipped enuff from past experiences to deal wif the present challenges'....another saying to explain this is ' As you get better, the games get more difficult.'...believe it or not...im always falling back to this very quote everytime i want to emotionally crumble down here...it unconsciously strengthens my spirits cos theres this particular belief that if i hav gone through something like this b4..now is just a little harder...if not for this quote man...well u get the point...i just thought of another saying that has a similar meaning to previous one...'A person will not see what he is to see until he is ready for it'....like something would not come into ur precious life unless u r ready for it...wadever this thing is...it cannot be so difficult tht u cannot handle it...and keep in mind tht theres always ppl arnd u to help u...the great creator himself would not b so evil to put something in ur life tht u cannot handle..hes not THT mean...wahahaha....eveything happens for a reason...sometimes if u look hard enuff...theres a purpose in every friend u hav....whether to help u thru a problem...just to hang out wif...crap arnd wif...theres a reason...the harsh reality is tht if he or she has no purpose in ur cause or u don hav a purpose in his or her course....the both of u would not be close friends at all....but remember...the word purpose sometimes can be reflected so 'chimly' (i just invented tht word out of the blue..yea i noe im creative) tht u can b searching high and low but still found none...but purposes like just being a friend where u can tok to...play sports wif..discuss studies...ALL these are purposes...im actually kinda wondering now if im actually thinking too much abt these stuffs..wahahaha...but its fun sometimes..gives the brain something to do...cos too much academic stuffs in ur head sometimes can drive u crazy....so for those of u who r wondering how i can study for so long periods of time and still did not get the grades thts ideal to the studying time..well theres my reason..hahaha..im making it sound bad...but i don really regret it...it makes me who i am today...=)

DanieL counted snowflakes at 11:08 PM