Chronicles of a Young College Boy

Saturday, April 22, 2006

hello ppl...i just got back from an indo dinner...a very nice dinner...=)...not only the food...the atmosphere too..had great laughs..=)..well basically my first impression is when i looked for ppl i didnt recognize (wad i did everytime i go for gathering)...i was surprised i recognised everyone...its quite nice actually...for some reason tht kinda completes my 'orientation' into the indo ppl here...hahaha..kinda takes a while doesnt it...like 5 months...i still cant believe it has actually been tht long...it was some tme this week when i realised..'wad the hell...theres only 3 weeks left in the semester..'...i was like...where did time go?...the first week for me here is like a year..but after a while my mind goes like 'time will pass faster if u don look too much in the long run..'..i realised tht i've been living week by week...as in im looking into my life by each week...not in the long run...i don noe if its a good thing or not...but it sure does help the time pass like flash...
anyway i went for soccer competition yesterday and today..its called 'Marquette World Cup'..hahaha...as in yea it is in some way a type of world cup cos all the competitors form teams based on their nationality....well indonesia won the first round and got into the semifinals...but we got eliminated then...its quite an experience...had a lot of fun...one of the funnest is when we saw a pretty girl..and i really mean pretty in the european team and the guys is like all talking abt her...its hilarious...u hav to be there to actually experience it...hahaha..

heh everyone is starting school this week huh (my badge of sec 4s)...it feels funny somehow...it acts as somekind of detachment for me...i don noe how to describe it...but i came up wif a quote i tink abt last week.."As i settled, they served the purpose and moved on."...now i really kinda made this sound bad by saying their purpose...but seriously..thts as close as it is to how i feel abt it..now don get me wrong as if they r done with their purpose they slowly walk out of my life...tht is serious...seriously...seriously the last thing i want in my life...bcos as i mentioned b4 in one of my entries...my family and friends in spore acts as a pillar...like someone i can always count on to be there for me...not tht i mean physically but as in for emotional support and those stuffs...the first few months for me has been so difficult for me tht when i look back now....i never want to hav to go through the process...i noe i grow a lot from the process...but for some reason there r almost times tht i can just break down tht if i break down a couple more times i can never recover back...but again sometimes i can be outsmarted by myself by saying 'Wadever tht doesnt kill u makes u stronger.'...well its just tht my point is without the memories and the company of the ppl back home...i don tink i can ever make it on my own here...=)...*fist to heart* to u guys...=)...it also occurs to me y im actually put into the spring semester here...bcos i have been wondering tht i shld hav gone into the fall semester bcos tht the time where everyone is new in the school then...yea its different from spore where the new year starts at january..its starts in august here...anyway my answer came in this week...the fact tht i need the ppl back home more than the ppl here for the settling in part proves tht...if i came in during the fall semester...my friends will all be in school by then and they definitely don hav as much time as they had during january...seriously like everytime i come back from my 9 oclock class i will straight away go back to my room and check who online to tok to...usually cheryl harry yeos....=)...but in the morning my time is usually the time where a lot more ppl r online...anyway coming back to my point...i tink the guy up there has put me in the spring semester for this particular reason....

this past week i realised tht wad u tink u will become...sometimes thts a good thing...sometimes thts a bad thing...ok lets take me for an example...i hav always model the physiology and mental processes of ppl whom i admire...usually for their strength and confidence...and i picked a few ppl..Adam Khoo....Stuart Tan...Anthony Robbins and Superman...i watched and observed the way they talk: their tone...their speed of speech...their choice of words...the loudness...then i observe the way they carry themself: the way they walk...the way they stand when they stand still...their facial expressions...these physical things abt them makes them radiate strength and confidence...after i observed this...i put it into practice by mirroring just wad they did....then i observed the way they think...since Adam and Stuart are my coaches they taught me the ways to think so tht not only on the outside u r strong...but on the inside u r too...cos wad i tink is tht ppl sometimes put up this strong front...but inside they can be broken a lot easier than they seem on the outside...well anyway they taught me...i learnt...but havent been as successful as i had been on the outer appearance..hahaha...thts y i probably built this defensive shield to protect wads inside...wad made me think abt this is in one of my calls wif my mum last week...she ask me...'Do u still miss home?'....and for some reason i answered 'No.'...and it came out so quick tht for its almost like an instinct...thts a lie of coz..i miss home like hell...now its not so bad cos i've learnt to live wif it...but anyway this is the part when i say its bad in the start of this paragraph...when i say wad u think u will become...like i keep thinking to myself to be the strong and confident person i want to be...but in the process i hav only become strong in the outer appearance but still relatively weak on the inside tht i built tht defensive shield..tht came right out when i said No...it almost sounds rude...im actually quite ashamed of myself after i thought abt it...its like.."im acting too much"...haiz...nvm..bcos sometimes i also feel tht theres always 2 sides to a coin...and for tht reason ppl too...

u noe something..i tink by writing down all these thoughts down...it can act as some sort of therapy u can do for urself...like wad Stuart said in my tagbox..."Introspection and reflection strengthens the soul"...i hav no idea how it works..but everytime i write finish a blog entry or a diary entry..especially if b4 tht i hav a lot of things on my mind...for some reason i can write a lot more when i just let my mind speak...bcos after Os i actually decided to write a book on personal development...but it nv kinda developed into a full book...its hardly even a chapter...but when i write a blog entry...i almost nv find it hard to write down my thoughts...its like when i don make it a chore...i will do a lot better ...strange huh..

DanieL counted snowflakes at 11:32 PM