Chronicles of a Young College Boy

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Its been one loooong week man.....im like all over the place this week wif my application process for columbia university....im actually haf way arguing wif a person who replied to my mail...i thought the person was not someone very big...cos of the way he replied...he said i was not telling the truth...in a way calling me a liar..well theres 2 sides of the story...the general base of the story is tht i put in my application english as my native language...but i took an engl class for non-native class...bcos of tht reason according to the guy...he kinda called me a liar...i was so pissed after i read tht line i immediately went to the gymn and worked out...well this is my side of the story...in a lot of ways engl IS my native language...if u ask me to write an indo essay...u can expect some crappy content and grammar..compared if i were to write an engl essay...so anyway....the next day my friend max went to the uni to check...and found out tht i got accepted...i hav no idea wad happened...and i found out the guy who pissed me off is actually the Dean of Student Admission....dean...do u guys get tht word....its nuts seriously....but i got ACCEPTED !!!...i was so ecstatic when i heard tht....now all my plans can come true...tour in the streets of new york...go arnd times square...walk arnd central park...and the most beautiful of all...im gonna watch Phantom of The Opera on Broadway....omg...i don now how to compress my excitement till the day i watch it...i i can i will take picts of the opera....if i can...cos they may ban cameras and all...but yea..i seriously cant wait for the phantom...haha...

I went to a mass today...surprised?...well actually the mass is dedicated to the victims of the recent earthquake in indonesia...i want to come bcos i feel like this is the least i could do....and the father...or the guy who leads the mass...speaks on the topic of death...he mentioned tht not many ppl want to discuss this..especially my age peoples....becos its for ppl who r already old...so some ppl just tink tht the subject of death is not worth discussing becos its not time yet....well in my opinion...im pretty sure thts wad some people in jogja thought exactly...but the earthquake hits them...and whether they like it or not...it is their time to go...death does not care if u just had a fight wif ur loved one....had an unfinished business contract...just won a billion dollars...or wadever..death will take u away just like tht...
this kinda ties in wif wad i watched on smallville yesterday.... lex was shot and while in coma he was given a vision of the future after he was shot and if he made all the right decisions...he had everything...and wad i mean by everything is he had many close friends...lana as his wife...a perfect son...this happens IF he made the decision of realising wad is the most important things in life...which is the people arnd u...i mean...my point is tht just cherish the ppl arnd u...i noe some of u r probably not able to express it wif words (tht includes me)...but u can express it wif actions...simple actions means quite a lot...guys probably arent a big fan of hugging...but wad we can do is tht simple actions like the act of the human touch...i don noe how to describe this but...yea i don noe how to describe this exactly..but u just noe the power of the human touch la...babies yearn for this A LOT...trust me...if u watch closely...when they r put down by their parents on their cradle...they would sometimes..or most of the time cry...or make noise...then the baby's parent will pick the baby up to calm the baby by carrying him or her arnd...whispering calming words into their ear...and in the parent's hands...the baby will calm down..this is due to the power of human touch...its just tht powerful...i mean it works on the baby...and a baby is the most honest thing on earth...if the baby doesnt like u..he or she wont pretend to like u...if the baby is not happy...he will scream and cry...if she doesnt like the food...she will just throw out the food from her mouth...if he likes u...he will stick wif u and b fond of ur company... they r just such sincere creatures and even though so young...we can learn quite a bit from them...one would be the power of the human touch...as we grow older...we change in the ways we express our feelings...when we r furious...some of us will go to the gymn to work out...some will listen to loud music...some will drink till they couldnt think clear etc etc...when we r sad...some of us will just mask those feelings...some will write an entry on their journal...some will cry in private etc etc....but then even as we grow from a baby...even though our ways of expressing feelings change...our feelings doesnt change...the emotions we all feel as human beings still remain unchanged...we all want to feel loved...feel joy...but we cant just scream and cry anymore right...heh...

This week i finally found one drawback of wisdom--> outsmarting urself....ok lets take me for an example...a lot of time i've been struggling wif proving myself tht im not the person u see on report cards...i mean here...my grades r just not good at all for now...and as much as i want to explain myself or to myself tht im hardworking and everything...it just shows clearly on the report tht im not hardworking...well in a way im just not effecient enough....trust me if anyone sees how much i work and study for O lvls...they would not believe i got 15....nobody actually seen how much i worked for it...its just nuts...then when i got the results...its like 'ah wad the hell'...and then come the waves of ppl having the impressons tht i hav not been working hard enuff when they noe the results...it just sucks like hell...but then when i want to tell them tht i worked my ass off for it...my mind will just take out tht very annoying quote..."Its not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines who we are." (i quoted this too last entry)...well in my case of results...its not wad i do...but the results tht defines me as a person...i can scream "Its not fair!!" all i want...but wads the use...thts y the only other thing tht has been keeping me from drowning in self-disappointment is the fact tht since its done..its done...learn wadever i can from it and do my best not to repeat it again...this is probably the only drawback of wisdom...everyone is definitely going to scrutinize a wise person if he will walk his talk...they will judge the person on his reaction in almost every situation...i noe cos i too always look at ppl from akltg and my parents and my friends if they walk their talk..like if wad they say now is coherent to wad they will say in a different situation...heh u can say the wiser the person is...the more social pressure there are on the person...but in some ways this is good...cos the person will definitely grow...

heh as i read further the books tht i mentioned as my ultimate favorite novels The Belgariad and The Mallorean series (both by the same author)....i realised how much impact these books had on me...since this is the second time im reading all ten novels...i recalled the experience i underwent when i read this book the first time when i was sec one...tht was like when i was 14 yrs old...i mean seriously...it has a tremendous impact on my personality and character....if u guys want to give it a shot...u can read the novels and will find out tht i hav many traits tht come from the characters of the book...there r a number of characters in the book...but there r usually abt 8 main ones...they all hav distinctly different chacteristics...one will be impossibly cheeky..one will be super brave...one will be the ultimate leader...one will b the ultimate "mother" etc etc..from each of these characters i unconsciously took away, combine, and adopt the personalities...for some reason im actually doing it all unconsciously...and wads more it kinda brings into me the love thing...this..is the ultimate negative impact on me...now tht i tot of it...its not smallville tht makes me think boyfriend-girlfriend relationships occurs naturally...its THESE novels tht did it..im 100% sure of it..heh for some reason this is the book tht gave me absolute hopelessness when it comes to romance issues....but well its probably a give and take situation...if not for the books to spark my interest of how to bcome a the best person i can be (aktlg are responsible for blossoming this interest)....i would not be who i am today...=)

DanieL counted snowflakes at 11:16 PM