Chronicles of a Young College Boy

Saturday, June 24, 2006

heys everyone....this past week been quite bored man....its really good i can borrow a tv from one of my friends...heh..tv is something i kinda take quite for granted when i hav it...its like wifout it theres almost completely nothing else to do but stay in front of the comp...surf the net ...play game...but theres only so much for both...oh wait theres one thing tht kinda stood out during the week...MIAMI HEATS WON THE NBA CHAMPIONSHIP WITH D-WADE AS MVP!!..haha...u may ask..who is d-wade....well..he graduated from my uni!!...woo hoo....he graduated abt 3 yrs ago....and at the age of 24...he won the championship and a playoffs mvp title...thts a huge achievement man...so cool...i watched the games at my friend's place..yea cos no tv..heh...but more fun like tht...oo..the weather here has been beautiful too..i mean its supposed to be summer time here..but instead the temperature here is like 20 degrees average...like now at 952pm here its 17 degress..yea there r some hot days definitely...but i expected daily spore-type temp....but here its like the mountains' type of temp...heh..don get jealous...=)

psychology is probably the most interesting class i hav taken ...its seriously interesting...well most parts of it at least...considering tht im studying bio again in the chapter biopsychology....but other than tht...like studying abt personality..human memory...psychology disorders...their treatments...pretty interesting stuff...especially when it comes to personality...do u noe tht inside each and everyone of us there r actually 3 different minds?..they r the id..ego..and superego...id go for immediate gratification...ego is more in line with reality or is the opposite of ego...superego is the mind tht distinguish which is right and wrong...for example..in the morning ur alarm clock ring...u wake up but ur id wants to get more slp and miss the history class...but ur ego on the other hand...tells u tht u hav to wake up and attend the class bcos u r failing it...theres this conflict...which one wins?..it depends on ur lvl of superego...if u r the more er...well rebellious type...ur id wins..vice versa...then there r more controversial matters...sigmund freud and his theory on the unconscious mind...its just a bit disturbing if i post up his theory here...heh google it if u r interested..=)...another thing thts really interesting is tht it is possible to completely repress memories..the main reason is usually bcos its painful...for example...i mayb beaten up as a kid once by bullies but when i grow up i don remember them (i just made this up).....interesting isnt it?...repressed memory is the thing tht gives ppl problem....bcos it has a substantial amount of effect on the person's behaviour...especially if its painful or traumatic...wad psychotherapist do is to bring out tht memory...not to let his patient suffer..but to let him or her face his or her deepest fear...For example... patient has been abused by his or her alcoholic father when he was young...but when he is grown and asked by ppl if he has ever been abused..he has no memory of it..buuut...heres the catch...he mayb exhibiting strange behaviours....called defense mechanisms...there r quite many types of them...this behaviour is the result of the repressed memory tht is currently in the unconscious part of the mind...the therapist will hav to break down these defense mechanism to help him or her face this monster inside the patient and help him or her be a better person...haha..hav i confused u?...well if i hav...the movie i mentioned last week...Good Will Hunting...will explain this whole thing i said..=)...cool movie...
after studying psychology i feel like going into clinical psychology for a career option man...one problem is holding me back though...i don hav enough emotional stamina to see 5 or mayb 10 people who r in need for someone to help them get into reality...i don mind 1 or 2...bcos i especially enjoy in helping ppl...listening to their problem...mayb provide a crying shoulder..hell if i need to provide crying shoulders and listening ears i will do it for free...cos its a good feeling to help them..=)..but when its a career...it can bring the difficulty to a whole new lvl..since u need to get a doctorate to be in practice...so yea..thts my main problem...not enough emotional stamina...i scared tht everyday i will be bombarded with 10 depressed ppl tht i myself may get affected and the people arnd me will hav to take the consequences bcos of it...haiz..consequenses consequences...haha my mum always say my heart is too soft and sensitive like girl...hahaha...trust our parents to know us better than ourselves...=)

haiz....abt a few days ago i watched an episode of smallville...4th season episode 21...its the graduation and last day of school thing...been quite some time since i thought of tht graduation day...both b4 and after Os...both hav their own speciality and uniqueness in different aspects...the b4 Os one is definitely cos its taken in our classroom...its probably the only relic i hav of the class other than the ones in my memory...i quite enjoy myself in the classroom actually...heh i still remembered playing soccer at the back of the classroom during free periods...hahaha...and struggling to stay awake during bio..geog..and amth periods....mayb sometimes a bit of phy too..quite depends on the weather too...if hot my eyelids weighs like a ton...hahaha...if cold..well...mayb abt 100 pounds only...heh...but for some reason phy remedials...amath worksheets...those things doesnt looked as bad as how i remember them now...each time i think of them i keep feeling like just turning back the clock man...seriously...i mean like now theres no chance for me to enjoy class-type of environment...as in those the same 40 ppl stay in one class while the teacher changes....here its the reverse...its different ppl wif different class..its like new faces for every class..thts wad i think is the drawback of the schools here...theres no time for us to bond like sec school...i rememebered wad clark says at the end of the episode..."Suddenly all those tests and teachers we hated...seems a lot less scary than the big question mark hanging out there."....
for my case..i remembered i didnt feel much fear yet after the last day of class or even after the formal graduation...its only after i took off from spore changi airport and looked out from the airplane window tht i realised.."hey...this is it..one chapter of my life ends while another is abt to start.."..tht word 'start' is kinda hanging arnd my mind..no big blows yet...partly bcos my dad is still wif me...only abt a week later when my dad go back to spore and i go into the dorm alone its like starting to dawn on me...and tht evening its full blow was on me...wad clark said was quite true...its a lot more scary than tests and teachers...or remedials too for tht matter..haha...its like u r put into a place u nv been to b4..know no one...the only contact u hav wif friends and family is internet..and u r given money to survive..trust me...i hav nv been so afraid in my entire life...now tht i look back..its a wonder i survived...=P...hahaha...but as the saying goes...."What doesnt kill you only makes you stronger."..now i kinda understand wad tht means...i would nv dared to actually go to another college to start all over again...but now its like my plan for next year..for some reason the fear of unknown transforms into the curiousity of the unknown..i wanna know more...and when the fear comes back...i can kinda say..."i hav survived probably the worst of adjustments...if it comes again its going to be easier.."...Having the courage to change can work wonders for the future...=)

DanieL counted snowflakes at 9:47 PM