Saturday, August 12, 2006
hey ppl wads up...been quite an eventful week this one...both good and bad events...kinda sucks bcos i don really want my summer to end this way...even though i hav abt 2 musicals coming up...somehow everytime i think of some of the bad events tht happened this past week...i feel tht it may just overshadow the 2 musicals....
well...first thing is definitely the fact tht suddenly i felt nostalgic....its probably from the fact tht the only friend i had during this past one and haf month is my roommate...for some reason these past few days i keep thinking of my friends back in spore and milwaukee (yea i made a couple of good friends there already)....worse of all is spore la...everytime i think of them it just really make my heart feel heavy....yea well nostalgic duh....i miss everything...family..friends...environment...the ease i feel when im arnd them...my beloved cousins back in indo....i already bought the ticket back home anyway...but still the memories just keep coming and coming and coming.....feel pretty miserable everytime tht happens...like go into a trance for a while...then the effects hit full blow....i really cant wait till the day of my arrival back in spore...
but u see...heres the catch for me...when i come back...there r ppl who will definitely b wanting to know how my grades r....such as my parents and their friends....the pressure sometimes can b so unbearable tht i feel like running away to the safe haven of my friends and cousins....where they accept me for who i am...no matter how i did in school....i know if my parents read this they will probably say.."hey i accept u for who u r no matter ur grades!"....well...heres my theory,"We are not what we think, we are not what we say, we are not what we feel. We are what we do."....and wads reality is tht i can feel the pressure so much so tht u don even need to say it to let me know...sometimes u say somethings tht u don even understand...and for some reason u probbaly think u r right bcos i don hav anything to say...well i don hav anything to say bcos it really does kinda hurt...u said everyone goes thru this exp and everyone lives wif the nostalgia and everyone can live thru it...everyone shld get a gpa of 3.8 and above in their first semester and if tht someone doesnt...hes not good enuff....well...for those of u reading this u probably can conclude easily enough tht im not doing well in my schoolwork right....yea u r right..i didnt do well for my second summer course...i havent got my final grade yet...but still theres tht gut feeling...haiz...
sometimes don u tink the most powerful prisons in our lives are the ones tht we created for ourself?...for some reason i find it so hard to tell someone tht i hav troubles ..so much so tht i wonder y am i so afraid to open up...sometimes ppl can ask me if anything is wrong...and even if there is...i sometimes don even say...it voilates my principles of letting ppl help of coz..since i myself hav always told ppl tht its best to talk abt it..makes me look like a hypocrite....but for me tht very 'prison' i created for myself is tht almost automatic-defense mechanism i developed...which also y i always looked for techniques and self-mastery ways to forget and 'distort' the events tht haunt me...but i don think anything can replace the power of human love...as in the caring gestures tht can b received...this is probably y i love smallville so much too...just seeing somebody with all the smarts and money like lex doesnt mean he will turn out a good guy...while clark...relatively poor and not as smart as lex...turns out to b superman...i always did my best to put my faith tht everytime i did not get good grades i tell myself good grades arent everything....but well...ppl can pretty much break this faith easily by comparisons....
well...first thing is definitely the fact tht suddenly i felt nostalgic....its probably from the fact tht the only friend i had during this past one and haf month is my roommate...for some reason these past few days i keep thinking of my friends back in spore and milwaukee (yea i made a couple of good friends there already)....worse of all is spore la...everytime i think of them it just really make my heart feel heavy....yea well nostalgic duh....i miss everything...family..friends...environment...the ease i feel when im arnd them...my beloved cousins back in indo....i already bought the ticket back home anyway...but still the memories just keep coming and coming and coming.....feel pretty miserable everytime tht happens...like go into a trance for a while...then the effects hit full blow....i really cant wait till the day of my arrival back in spore...
but u see...heres the catch for me...when i come back...there r ppl who will definitely b wanting to know how my grades r....such as my parents and their friends....the pressure sometimes can b so unbearable tht i feel like running away to the safe haven of my friends and cousins....where they accept me for who i am...no matter how i did in school....i know if my parents read this they will probably say.."hey i accept u for who u r no matter ur grades!"....well...heres my theory,"We are not what we think, we are not what we say, we are not what we feel. We are what we do."....and wads reality is tht i can feel the pressure so much so tht u don even need to say it to let me know...sometimes u say somethings tht u don even understand...and for some reason u probbaly think u r right bcos i don hav anything to say...well i don hav anything to say bcos it really does kinda hurt...u said everyone goes thru this exp and everyone lives wif the nostalgia and everyone can live thru it...everyone shld get a gpa of 3.8 and above in their first semester and if tht someone doesnt...hes not good enuff....well...for those of u reading this u probably can conclude easily enough tht im not doing well in my schoolwork right....yea u r right..i didnt do well for my second summer course...i havent got my final grade yet...but still theres tht gut feeling...haiz...
sometimes don u tink the most powerful prisons in our lives are the ones tht we created for ourself?...for some reason i find it so hard to tell someone tht i hav troubles ..so much so tht i wonder y am i so afraid to open up...sometimes ppl can ask me if anything is wrong...and even if there is...i sometimes don even say...it voilates my principles of letting ppl help of coz..since i myself hav always told ppl tht its best to talk abt it..makes me look like a hypocrite....but for me tht very 'prison' i created for myself is tht almost automatic-defense mechanism i developed...which also y i always looked for techniques and self-mastery ways to forget and 'distort' the events tht haunt me...but i don think anything can replace the power of human love...as in the caring gestures tht can b received...this is probably y i love smallville so much too...just seeing somebody with all the smarts and money like lex doesnt mean he will turn out a good guy...while clark...relatively poor and not as smart as lex...turns out to b superman...i always did my best to put my faith tht everytime i did not get good grades i tell myself good grades arent everything....but well...ppl can pretty much break this faith easily by comparisons....
DanieL counted
snowflakes at 10:15 PM
About The Author
Name - Daniel_Widjaja
Age - 19
Ok this is me in a nutshell: reflective...hardworker...goofy humour...no sense of fashion(just common sense)...messy...hopeless romantic ;)...enthusiastic learner (depends on wad subject)...easygoing...loves family and friends...internet/msn addict...library bug...into fantasy stuffs...mugger...single-minded at times...AKLTG Alumni...can be kuku at certain subjects (fashion for example)...wahaha..ok thts however much i can describe me..my friends definitely hav more to add..be it good or bad...enjoy the visit in my blog !
Other Chapters of His Life
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
October 2008
January 2009
Places He Frequents By
The Superman Franchise/History Video
Superman Returns Full Trailer
akltg.com
NBA.com
Life Coaches Blog
Enlightenment.com
Slow Leadership.org
Anthony Robbins Motivational Video
Stuart Tan's Audio Programs
Marquette TKD Club
Crazy Martial Arts Videos
TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design)
Squidoo
His Companions
Jenny
Evelyn
Suang
1Peace05
Sam Shen
Eric
Eugenie
Stuart Tan
Evan
Celine
Tan Yong
Amanda
Wendrey
Gregory
Credits
Take a look at this & other blog designs @ Blogskins.com
In This Life
Delta Goodrem
Wisdoms of Life
Favorites
Basketball, Martial Arts, Personal Development, Smallville, Superman, Southpark, Authentic Asian food (pls no sweet and sour chicken wif fried rice..im starting to get sick of it), Snowing days (its beautiful =) ), Fantasy and medieval stories, Rasberry ice lemon tea (wahahaha..it replaced green tea here)
Blow a Snowflake